Caregiving IRS - information, respite, support
When the oxygen masks drop down in an airplane, most people know to secure their own before attending to a loved one, says Donna Schempp of the Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA).
"The basic principal - you can't help someone unless you are okay - should be applied to millions of family members and friends taking care of the seriously ill in this country," she said.
"A lot of people out there are winging it and thinking they're the only ones, but they're not."
In fact, caregiving is the backbone of the American long-term care system, according to FCA. They estimate the value of services provided by informal caregivers - friends and family - at $375 billion each year.
"We now know that family caregivers have a higher incidence of depression, morbidity and mortality," Schempp says. "People are literally getting sick."
Today's economy is creating even more stress as money saved for elder care is losing value and caregivers themselves are losing income and medical insurance, she adds. "But with support, people can be successful."
Studies show that counseling and support groups in combination with respite and other services help families remain in their caregiving role longer with less stress and greater satisfaction.
That includes what Schempp calls the IRS of caregiving - information, respite and support.
"The first question is always where to start," she says. "Organizations such as Family Caregiver Alliance, the Alzheimer's Association, Parkinson's Institute and Senior Focus make it their job to help. Any of these places is a good starting point. They can show you how to navigate the system and find help - and their services are free."
You don't have to live with the person you care for to be considered a caregiver, Schempp stresses.
"If you take them to doctor's appointments, to the store or even drop in to see if they are okay - you are a caregiver."
Online or in-person support groups can help people in similar situations feel connected, she said.
"Finding out you are not alone makes people feel amazingly better - isolation is a big issue and the longer you are a caregiver, the more isolated you can become.
Besides connecting with others, caregivers need to eat well, exercise, get a good night's sleep and have some fun once in a while, Schempp says.
"If you can't get those things in your life - you need to reevaluate the situation and get help. Taking time for yourself is necessary - it's the oxygen mask."
Contact the Family Caregiver Alliance at 800-445-8106 or
www.caregiver.org; the Alzheimer's Association at 800-660-1993 or www.alz.org/norcal; or Mills-Peninsula Senior Focus at 650-696-3660.